Things I Have Learned Being Stuck in My Building's Elevator 3x in a Month
Yep, 3 times.
- •Carry water with you at all times.Those hanging coffins get hot 🔥
- •Always bring your cell phone.The ones in the motherfucking elevator probably work as well as that pay phone on the corner. 📱
- •Dress nicely!All firemen are hot even when they're not and since they're the ones that will be rescuing you, it's a good idea to put your back into it. It's ups your flirt game. 💁
- •Pee before your ride.Inevitably you'll have to pee the second those doors get stuck and you'll spend your whole time wavering between "why didn't I pee before I left?" and "I wonder if anyone will notice if I pee in the corner?"
- •Take the fucking stairs next time!Clearly someone is trying to tell me to haul my ass up and down the stairs instead of taking the death ride. I GET IT, UNIVERSE, I GET IT. 🏃💦