Things I Have Learned Being Stuck in My Building's Elevator 3x in a Month

Yep, 3 times.
  1. Carry water with you at all times.
    Those hanging coffins get hot 🔥
  2. Always bring your cell phone.
    The ones in the motherfucking elevator probably work as well as that pay phone on the corner. 📱
  3. Dress nicely!
    All firemen are hot even when they're not and since they're the ones that will be rescuing you, it's a good idea to put your back into it. It's ups your flirt game. 💁
  4. Pee before your ride.
    Inevitably you'll have to pee the second those doors get stuck and you'll spend your whole time wavering between "why didn't I pee before I left?" and "I wonder if anyone will notice if I pee in the corner?"
  5. Take the fucking stairs next time!
    Clearly someone is trying to tell me to haul my ass up and down the stairs instead of taking the death ride. I GET IT, UNIVERSE, I GET IT. 🏃💦