Things I Wish I Knew in My 20's, Continued
The follow up to this list: 16 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20's . As I mentioned before, these are things I wish I'd focused on in my 20s and I've kept a running list for years as reminders to myself.
- 1.It's okay to be unsure of your future.I struggled with this big time. It felt like everyone was picking a path and sticking with it, whereas I wanted to discover as I went. There were plenty of times I felt lost and unsettled but it passes. You'll figure it out. Life is just a series of choices and you pick the one that best fits you at the time and that decision leads to the next one and so on. Don't freak out about the big picture.
- 2.It's good to be alone sometimes.Learning to be alone and be with yourself is the greatest thing you can do for yourself. Not jumping into another relationship immediately and not staying with someone who sucks might mean you'll be alone, but it's going to be okay. You'll survive and be better for it.
- 3.Stop being an asshole to yourself.This is hard. Really damn hard. We're our own biggest critics when we should be our biggest champions. If you're not going to root for yourself, who will?
- 4.Choose to be happy.Happiness doesn't fall from the sky. You have to wake up every single day and choose it. Some days it's hard, really damn hard and that's okay. Keep trying.
- 5.Find something you love and figure out a way to get paid for it.Let's face it, most people have many, many years of work life in their future and if you don't love what you're doing, you're going to be miserable. Try different things and find something that clicks and then run with it.
- 6.It's ok to ask for help.Life is full of twists and turns and we can't always figure it out on our own. It's ok to reach out to friends, family, medical professionals, anyone.
- 7.Take care of your body.Now, the 20s are for living it up and throwing caution to the wind - which is great - BUT being kind to it will make you so much happier later in life. You've got one body on this crazy ride so if you can love it along the way, you're ahead of the game. (I failed at this one but I keep trying)
- 8.Foster friendships.Be the friend you want to have. Everyone needs people who have their back, just like you do.
- 9.Explore relationships.You don't have to marry the first person you love. Breakups are awful but new love (and lust!) will follow. Sometimes you'll learn the biggest life lessons through heartache and you'll grow like a m&therf$cker. Date people. Have fun!
- 10.Anxiety is a bitch.Many roads can lead to anxiety, especially when you're struggling to figure things out, and knowing you're not alone in that, is pretty empowering. I guarantee most people you know have experienced it. It will pass. Don't let it rule your life. You can get help for it if it becomes too much and that's ok. But know that it will pass.
- 11.Don't get pregnant (or get someone pregnant) by someone you don't seriously want in your life for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.Until the day one of you dies, you and that person are forever connected. If you can't imagine that, try to avoid it. I have several friends that have had a rocky road with co-parenting and it's hard to watch from afar.
- 12.Love the way you look.Right here, right now. Not when you lose 10lbs or put makeup on. It's the hardest thing in the world but you have to figure out a way to love what you see in the mirror. I didn't and I regret it.
- 13.Don't let people tell you what you "shouldn't" or "can't" do.Prove them wrong if it's something you want to do. It's no one's choice but your own.
- 14.Write.Journal, write, whatever, but write your thoughts and feelings down. You purge so much unnecessary baggage just by writing it down and getting it out of your head. Plus it's pretty cool to look back at the memories.