Things to Do When You Can't Sleep
It's 3:32am. Do you know where your sleep is? Yeah, me either so I'm doing other things. Here are some legit things to do to bide your time till morning
- •Stare at the ceiling and think about how you could paint it.
- •Notice the dust built up on the ceiling fan.
- •Watch that Keith Urban infomercial about learning how to play shitty songs like "Sweet Home Alabama".You probably like that song but it makes me want to stab my eyeballs with a rusty spoon. Or my earholes.
- •Think about that last guy you dated and how maybe he wasn't that bad.
- •Think that it wouldn't hurt to text him at 3:34am to check in.
- •Quickly remember what a complete douchebag he was.
- •Think about how your iPhone still can't spell douchebag.
- •Wish you had more alcohol in the house.
- •Make a mental note to get more alcohol for such occasions.
- •Think about how you have to get up in 1 hour and 15 minutes.
- •Think about all the list suggestions you want to send to @bjnovak.
- •And instead of trying to sleep, make another list for @list.