Titles for the Memoir I Might Never Write

Inspired by @k8mcgarry \\\ Never say never. I mean, my therapist says I have at least 2 memoirs in me and I'm not sure that's a good thing.
  1. 1.
    Just The Tip: And Other Useful Tools
  2. 2.
    I Didn't Forget To Call, I Just Didn't Feel Like It
  3. 3.
    Why Did I Sleep With Him... And Him?
  4. 4.
    Mayonnaise Ruined Everything
  5. 5.
    An Accidental Slip Of The Tongue
  6. 6.
    Don't Read The Comments
  7. 7.
    She Made Out With The Boys In The Band - The Early Years
  8. 8.
    Everything Is Better When You're Laying Down
  9. 9.
    Sometimes I Like To Make Things And Sometimes I Like To Make Things Happen
  10. 10.
    When All That's Left Are Bass Players
  11. 11.
    Why Sleep When You Can Weep?
  12. 12.
    I Might Like You Better If We Hadn't Slept Together
  13. 13.
    I Like Music But Probably Not Your Band
  14. 14.
    Not Everything With A British Accent Is A Good Idea
  15. 15.
    I'm Glad I Didn't Bother Faking It With You
  16. 16.
    I Always Liked Your Dog Better Than You
  17. 17.
    I Wasn't Just Resting My Eyes - You Actually Bored Me To Sleep
  18. 18.
    How To Lose Followers One List At A Time
  19. 19.
    I Stayed Till Last Call: And Other Regrettable Tales