1. Why can't Madonna and Sean Penn get back together?
    I mean, come on!
  2. Why do people ask me why I don't have kids??
    Do I ask you why you DO have kids?
  3. My ears hurt.
  4. Why haven't I had a vacation in 8 years?!
  5. Will Kiefer Sutherland please come back as Jack Bauer?
  6. My ass hurts from sitting.
  7. That police horse just took a massive shit in the street!
  8. Why haven't I unpacked my suitcases yet?!
  9. It's almost time to re-pack my suitcases! Ack!
  10. I'm thirsty.
  11. Why is the fridge so far away?! Why can't it be 10 feet from me and not 12 feet?!
  12. WHY WON'T THE EMAILS STOP COMING IN?! It's dinging every second!
  13. I should put pants on.
  14. I wish Howard Stern was live today.
  15. I need more friends that love Howard Stern as much as I do.
    Hello hello!
  16. Bye for now!