This stuff below isn't cute. Ever. Feel free to add your own.
  1. Drive by/walk by their house
    You'll be a stalker.
  2. Leave 4,000 messages
    You'll seem crazy.
  3. Get drunk at a bar
    You'll be obnoxious and probably sleep with someone you really shouldn't.
  4. Beg them to take you back
    You'll seem pathetic.
  5. Jump into another relationship
    You won't learn anything without being alone for a bit.
  6. Blast them on social media
    You'll regret it.
  7. Cut your hair
    Think on it a few days. Breakup pixies don't work on everyone.
  8. Quit showering
    Keep it clean. Everyone will thank you.
  9. Destroy things
    Your own stuff or theirs, you'll regret it. Or get in trouble for it. (Apologies to John in 1996)
  10. Fuck their friends
    Suggested by @drugs
  11. Stalk their new girl on social media
    It's a time suck and will just make you feel bad
    Suggested by @estherlimtf