Ways to Cope With a Breakup
Bottoms line, breakups suck. If you're human, chances are you've dealt with a few or are right now (I am). Here are a few ways I've dealt with the breakup deck now and in the past. (I might need a hug later.) Add your own.
- •DrinkIf feels and tastes so good in the moment. Your feelings are numbed and for a time all is right in the world and you feel those moments of drunken joy. You keep going and suddenly it doesn't feel so good anymore. That warm, cozy blanket that flooded your body starts to annoy you and suddenly happiness turns to rage and sorrow. The next thing you know there are tears in your beer and you know it's only a matter of time before you sober up and the hangover kicks in. And the feelings return. B-/C+
- •DrugsLike alcohol, they temporarily dull the pain. But when the drugs wear off, you're right back to the lonely hearts club, mostly likely with a drug-induced hangover. D-
- •Have random sexThe happiness of having someone else there makes you not feel so alone. You temporarily forget the sadness and let's be honest the escape is (or can be) so good in the moment. And hey, you feel wanted - who doesn't want to feel wanted?! However, the post-coital afterglow is fleeting and the feelings of loneliness come kicking and screaming as they re-enter your realm. SUMMARY: it's temporary but great for a bit of escape. Avoid feelings of attachment as it's just sex. A-
- •Listen to sad songsEveryone has that roster of sad songs that make you feel like you've been gut punched. Bust them out and feel those feelings. Let the tears and sadness flow as you moan "why!!?!!?" Then when you're done, put them away so you don't drive all your friends away. A- (purges the sadness)
- •CryCry when you feel like crying. I mean, it's going to happen anyways so let it out. When that feeling starts to bubble up and your lower lip starts to quiver because you hear THAT song while you're feeling on those avocados at Ralph's, just let it go. Pretend you dropped one on your foot. B- (slightly embarrassing)
- •SleepSadness either makes you want to sleep or it makes your mind run a million miles a minute while you're processing things. I vote sleep. I always feel better when I do. Until I wake up the next day and repeat the first steps (kidding!). A+
- •Throw yourself into workPro: it keeps you distracted. Con: you're ignoring your feelings. Pro: your boss will love you. Con: I can't think of another. B+
- •Throw yourself into a hobbyRiding the sad train can lead to prolific periods of creative. Whatever your vehicle of happiness is, try it. Being even slightly productive when you're feeling down inches you a little further towards feeling better. Write songs or paint ceramic puppies if it makes you feel better. A+
- •EatLike the booze and drugs, it makes the feelings subside. You start to feel like you have a tiny bit of control back in your life because you get to make the choice as to what goes down your throat. It feels good as you stuff your feelings down but quicker than the after effects of other substances, regret sets in and most likely you'll start to feel bad about yourself with a stomachache to boot. C
- •WriteWrite it all down. Every sad thought, poem, song, feeling, get it down. There's something incredibly cathartic about transferring it from your brain/heart through your hands and onto paper. A++
- •Reach outSo hard to do (for me) when you're sad and you feel like shit. You don't want to bring people down, but sharing is caring. Hopefully you have someone in your corner that would be happy to support you. And bring you ice cream. Or booze. Or pick your unshowered self off the floor while you're belting out Adele songs (if she's your jam). A+ (when you have those kind of people)
- •LiveRemind yourself that it won't last. It sure as hell feels like it, but it won't. It won't, right?!