When the Er Doctor Tries to Ruin Your Relationship With Your Mother

This might be TMI, but isn't that what ListApp is all about?
  1. Last night, I couldn't breathe and was coughing and it felt like someone was squeezing my lungs.
    And when you can't breathe, you panic.
  2. I ended up in the ER.
    They did all the vitals when I arrived, did chest X-rays, and got a urine sample as they always do when you're a girl.
  3. After that, the nurse came and asked me a ton of questions, which I answered honestly.
    Duh.
  4. My mom eventually came and met me there.
  5. The doctor finally comes in after all my tests were complete and says...
  6. "Besides the bad case of bronchitis you have, you also have a urinary tract infection, which isn't really a surprise with all the sex you had this past weekend."
  7. WHAT THE FUCK?!
    If I hadn't felt like I was dying before, I definitely did now. Also, sounds kinda judgmental, doc. (After the urinalysis, the nurse asked me questions about recent relations and everything associated with that so obviously he read my chart...)
  8. My mom proceeded to choke on her coffee and spit it out all over the place, including on my feet, the bed, and the floor.
    Like I've said before, I prefer my mom to live in a world where sex doesn't exist. (She also doesn't know about my ex/not ex of the past 4 years, so I can't wait for all the questions.)
  9. Does he have to drop that right after he just introduced himself to my mom?
    He then said in he most expressionless tone, "Sorry, your mom probably doesn't want to hear that."
  10. He also said to make sure to always pee after sex.
  11. Thanks for the tip, doc.
  12. Needless to say, it made for a silent and awkward ride home.
  13. And I'm pretty sure she won't be looking me in the eye for a couple of weeks.
  14. November, you've been a strange trip and I'm glad you're over.
  15. December, I'm begging you to bring it. Even the tiniest little bit.
  16. EDIT: I'm kinda over it at this point as this happened early this morning and it's not worth staying mad about. Plus when I think about it, it's a tiny bit amusing.
    Or that's how I'm going to look at it because I'm on heavy meds.