Why I Think I'm in the Middle of a Midlife Crisis Even Tho I'm Not Middle Aged... Yet

i just had a birthday and it hit me hardddd this year. Some of my behaviors as of late make me wonder what's wrong with me? i'm sure i'll keep adding to this because i feel like i'm parked in crazytown for a bit.
  1. i bought this fucking hot pink dress by Victoria Beckham
    um, i've never worn hot pink. have you met me? 99% of the time you see me, i'll be in all black. WHO AM I?! what do i do with this?
  2. i also bought this goddamn dress by Victoria Beckham
    wtf. again, what do i do with it?
  3. i bought a shit ton of skin care at once
    i mean this isn't too abnormal but i usually buy one or two things at a time. i bought about 14. i'm trying to reverse that damn clock.
  4. i've seriously considered getting completely obscene tattoos even though i like have a job where i sometimes have to be professional.
    like this one. jk.
  5. i made out with a 21-year old the other night at a bar
    someone else probably had a photo but i don't
  6. i keep taking all those stupid facebook tests at 4am when i can't sleep. you know, the ones i always see my mom's friends taking and posting about.
    here, fine i'll share the results. gah. you're welcome.
  7. i cried in public outside of a bar in brooklyn.
    i hate crying in front of people and i definitely don't like crying in public but i did both.
  8. i cried in a coffee shop in brooklyn.
    sensing a theme?
  9. bought an expensive magnifying mirror so i can obsess over my aging skin
  10. i've been drunk since May.
  11. i spent over $1000 on a ticket.
    don't worry, i sold it when i came to my senses.
  12. i stocked my entire fridge with booze and LaCroix for the 3 weeks i'm here. that's it, no food.
    maybe this isn't too crazy for me?