31 - TODAY, IN THEORY
It's my birthday, here's how it will most likely play out.
- •I share a Birthday with Paris Hilton, Michael Jordan, and Billie Joe Armstrong, among others.
- •I accomplished most of my "by the time I turn 30 goals" by 30.They evolved over my 20: I was on two TV shows (one of which was one of my favorite shows in college - The Soup, I was also on a spin-off show of theirs and some other TV stuff too), I opened for my favorite band (seriously!), I did a national tour (on a festival I grew up on, SERIOUSLY!), and worked in a writer's room. I also adapted one of Stephen King's dollar babies, and having a signed form from SK saying "you can adapt this" is still sweet as fuck!
- •Lie in bed, alternate between checking my phone and closing my eyes, pseudo-sleeping.I already have a bunch of texts, emails, etc. to respond to in the Happy B-Day vein, but also work stuff. Then, I'll close my eyes, curl up, and get a lot of thinking done. Aside from taking a hot shower, this is when I have the most clarity to think and reflect about things.
- •ShowerKeeping the clarity train rolling.
- •BreakfastI don't plan on cooking a single fucking thing today. First stop, Le Pain Qiuotidien, for the only moderately healthy meal I will have today with a friend.
- •In lieu of b-day parties, I meet at different restaurants with friends over the course of a few days.I don't drink, and 1-on-1 with my nearest and dearest make for a truly happy birthday. Parties that I'm in charge of make me anxious because everyone wants to buy me a drink and I HAVE to stay at this bar for 4+ HOURS??? Hard pass
- •I also perform a show or two on the night of my birthday.Tonight, I'm at The Virgil at 8pm w/Demetri Martin and then at UCB Sunset, doing a useless trivia style quiz show at 1030. Come to one, or both, or neither! (Seriously, not offended, it's just a work day for everyone, I get it!) but if you wanna come to either show, I'll guest list you, ListApper!
- •LunchSushi. At Nobu. J/K. Somewhere else.
- •DessertThis will happen a few times today. It starts with an oreo silk pie from Bristol Farms.
- •The People Vs. OJ SimpsonThis show is so good, can't think of a better way to digest food!
- •NapA construction crew outside my window has decided I can't sleep in super late. As a result, I nap when they finish around 3 or 4 to be on point for the evening, which is when work hours start (stand-up is the fucking best)
- •DinnerTBD, on purpose. I intentionally did not pick the place yet.
- •Two shows, as mentioned earlier.
- •Sleep.It's supposed to rain tonight into the morning. Construction crew can't work in the AM as a result.. I really hope it rains.
- •Some of today's events will play out differently.Already, at 31, I can't nuke my body with garbage food like I used to. I already had cheese fries last night to start the party early. Let's see if I can successfully pull off the dessert heavy parts of the day and the rest of the garbage I plan to eat the rest of this week.
- •DessertA few comics I'm performing with have agreed to go nosh on some garbage with me. Location TBD.
- •I still have goals, post-30.But I don't talk about them until they're accomplished. Then I can't shut up about them.
- •Final thoughtsAges have already stopped being milestones for me. I don't quantify a calendar year as good or bad, they are usually both and there's more comfort in that.