Possible Tinder responses to the question "What are you looking for on here?"

Guys ask this question all the time, and there is no go-to response that doesn't make the woman look like a prude or a whore. What could the middle ground be?! Ive decided on the approach of sarcastically replying with one of the following:
  1. You.
  2. We met on New Years in 2011 and I've been looking for you ever since. I finally found you!
  3. A green card 💍
  4. This isn't farmers mingle?
  5. Someone to take care of my ferret while I'm out of town
  6. My father
  7. Someone to message intently for an hour before I ghost them completely