Reasons I Don't "Socialise" Often

  1. I find characters I see on the TV screen much more trustworthy then real life people.
    Oh hey there OUAT, Doctor Who, Reign, The Royals, The Musketeers, GOT, Modern Fam, The Office, Parks and Rec, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Friends and so on dudes! Thanks for ALWAYS being there when I need you, you have never failed me, not once, not ever.
  2. I seriously can't be bothered.
    Who would want to leave the comfort of their home to go to a raging party with drunken lunatics in freezing temperatures just to end up with a headache from not being able to hear yourself think for the sound of the crap Justin Beiber music screaming in your ears. Offence intended.
  3. Even if I did attempt to "socialise" my Irish exit would be so swift and majestic it would have been like I was never there in the first place.
  4. The food is generally disgusting from sitting outside for hours being fly and mosquito ridden.
    This is a huge putter offer for me because food is one of the main reasons I live. Good food at a social gathering would be one of the only things that could make me relatively comfortable but this standard of food is just not acceptable.
  5. You realise just how gross humans can be.
    I don't think I need to elaborate any more on this. People are just blah.
  6. People generally forget I'm there in the first place because I'm very good at blending into my surroundings.
    This can make for a boring night.
  7. Nothing relatively interesting or funny happens.
    General drunkness is not and never will be funny and/or interesting. Please liven your party with a comedy act or maybe allow someone to fall over clumsily while attempting to hit on a girl.
  8. And finally, I REALLY can't be bothered. Just reinforcing that.