A CONSPIRACY THEORY RE: SOCKS VS DRYER

My second cousin, Randy, is visiting from up north & these are his words verbatim. Strongly agree.
  1. "Listen, I live alone, I do my own laundry, and I end up with one of each pair."
  2. "And it's the government who's doing it."
  3. "It's a government conspiracy to get us to buy more socks. Because they have a thing with the sock manufacturers. They must."
  4. "They have somebody in the dryer who takes one."
  5. "Thank God we have a Liberal government now."
  6. "The Minister of Missing Socks."