Things I Say to my Hair

I had nice, smooth, straight-ish hair until I hit puberty. It turned curly overnight and I'm still trying to figure it out. Sometimes talking to it makes me feel better.
  1. Please.
    This x1000. Sometimes all I can do is beg for a decent hair-day, the rest is up to the gods.
  2. Why can't you look like that?
    I get major curl-envy for girls (and guys, ex. sexy Jon Snow) with flawless curls.
  3. Grow, dammit.
    I've been trying to grow it out for two years now and I make such slow progress. It's Shrinkage, Jerry, SIGNIFICANT shrinkage.
  4. I need you to look good today.
    I have a presentation/interview/date and I just can't deal with a frizzy mess. Figure it out, hair.
  5. Why can't my whole head do this?
    I have this one curl, right behind my ear, that nobody ever sees, that is always flawless. Ctrl+V please
  6. Well, it's humid today.
    Sometimes I can hear my hair growing into a monster immediately after leaving the house. Curse you Illinois summer.
  7. BOING
    Okay, it's fun to find the bounciest ones.
  8. Aahh I love you.
    Very rarely do I get a great hair day. But when I do, life is good.