THINGS MY DRUNK PARENTS & THEIR DRUNK FRIENDS HAVE SAID TONIGHT

Happy July 3rd from a bunch of drunk Jews
  1. "My house, my pot"
    My dad
  2. "Tequila is a stimulant"
  3. "...I've got a friend in Jesus...yea right"
  4. "This cheesecake is great"
    At least three times
  5. "...I've got a date with a hooker"
    My dad again
  6. "I can stay out late"
    At 11pm
  7. "Ok everyone leaving take some Viagra"
    I'm tapping out