I'm good at a lot of things, but not these things

  1. Wrapping presents
    This always surprises me, because wrapping is a culmination of my two best features - preciseness and creativity. But for whatever reason, I always end up chopping and tucking the paper, covering my mistakes with ill-placed bows.
  2. Taking care of my cuticles
    I'm a wiz and religious at painting my nails, but I don't give my cuticles near enough attention. I always have lotion on me, but never put it on like I should, and then when I get a hangnail (every single day) I tear them off until they bleed. What a waste of a manicure..
  3. Being a good sport at games.
    I don't mean to be overly competitive, and I usually give myself a pep talk ahead of time, especially when it's all in good fun. But more often than not, adrenaline takes over and I end up getting all wound up. Case in point: two days ago a 4th grader asked me to play a game of speed (the card game) and I ended up whooping her ass and yelling "Booyah! Take that little girl!". It was NOT a good look.
  4. Eating all my food.
    Full disclosure, in several years ago I got super sick, and ended up having emergency surgery because I had a nickel sized ulcer that burst through the wall of my stomach. Sexy right? Point is, in order to repair it, my surgeon had to patch the hole with the rest of my stomach, pulling it tight and making my stomach much smaller. This did not result in an Al Roker style gastric bypass makeover. Instead it means that I can only eat a tiny amount of food before I'm full as fuck.
  5. Being patient.
    I'm terrible. I hate it. I like instant gratification. It does not make me a good girlfriend.
  6. Penmanship.
    My mom had beautiful handwriting, and I so want to learn calligraphy and script lettering. But I was not born with that skill. Even I can't interpret my scribbling 10 minutes after I've written it down.
  7. Washing my face at night.
    I KNOW!!!!!!!!!
  8. Eating all my produce before it goes bad.
  9. Throwing out t-shirts.
  10. Curling my hair.
    I've had my stylist giving me multiple tutorials, and then I try it myself, and frizz city.