The most important guide you'll ever need in life
  1. He crops you out of Instagram photos
  2. He wants to celebrate Valentine's Day the night before
  3. He gets a spray tan
  4. He quotes an obscure poet instead of saying thank you after a compliment
  5. Tells you "mansplaining" is a meaningless buzzword
  6. Thinks white guys are totally under attack just for existing these days
  7. His answer to anything that involves two or more females is always "rawr"
  8. Says women should always wear heels because he doesn't like flats