DEALING WITH YOUR COLDSORE

  1. Zovirax
  2. Don't poke it
  3. Put a bag on your head
  4. Decide you don't need the bag, plan two
  5. Try to cover it with makeup
  6. Get dressed
  7. Accidentally look in the mirror
  8. Take off the makeup because it looks awful. Note that the coldsore somehow remains covered in a layer of orange foundation.
  9. Put the bag back on your head
  10. Take it off again
  11. Cut your lips off
  12. Smear the blood around your face. Why does it all just sit and congeal on the FUCKING COLDSORE. God.
  13. Put the bag back on your head and shoot yourself in the face
  14. Paramedics arrive. They peel back the bag.
  15. "Ugh. Fuck. No wonder."