THEATRICAL DESIGN ELEMENTS FOR AN ACCURATE DEPICTION OF MY FIRST KISS

FOR THE STAGE ADAPTATION OF MY TENTH GRADE JOURNAL
  1. PROPS
    Enough alcohol to get everyone at the party plastered...except for my straight-edge character and her equally sober romantic interest.
  2. MAKE-UP DESIGN
    My character wears cherry Chapstick, because Katy Perry made that sound like a good idea. NOTE: the tube of Chapstick is also an important prop. My character will nervously use it to reapply her lip balm during awkward silences.
  3. SET DESIGN
    Nice basement. Then, a back storage room with open pipes and a laundry machine referred to as "the set-up" for its relative privacy away from the party.
  4. LIGHTING DESIGN
    All illumination in dingy back room comes from a single, dangling lightbulb.
  5. SOUND DESIGN
    The musical stylings of 2010's top artists - specifically Usher - play muffled in the background. Volume must be low enough for boy's line "so you haven't done anything before, right?" to loudly and sufficiently embarrass my character before he leans in.
  6. SET DESIGN CONTINUED
    A stingy collection of pillows and blankets on the cement floor for the two characters to sit cross-legged on, facing each other with total unease.
  7. COSTUME DESIGN
    Something that is not comfortable to sit cross-legged in.
  8. PROPS CONTINUED
    A cell phone for my character to glance at, after spending about 35 seconds kissing the boy. Character will pretend to receive a text message from a friend in distress in order to leave situation. Prop will also be used to text friends afterward about his overwhelmingly minty breath.
  9. SET DESIGN CONTINUED, CONTINUED
    Door to close behind girl as she rushes off to freak out with friends. Boy's friends will swing it open again to drunkenly high-five him.
  10. THEATRICAL ELEMENTS NOT INCLUDED:
    The complete silence between the two characters that follows. Continues for years.