Animal Courtship Rituals From "BBC Life Story" Ranked By How Well They'd Work On Me

  1. Japanese Pufferfish
    These tiny fish spend a week non stop making this perfectly ornate sand circle, adoring it with shells, and gathering the softest sand so his female can lay her eggs. I would fall for this so hard. If anyone ever makes me a love sandcastle I am in
  2. Flame bowerbird
    The males spend weeks perfecting and defending a tiny throne for a female to sit in while he dances for her. She really likes blue so he'll collect blue decorations along with shells and flower petals. I find this so thoughtful. It's a yes from me
  3. Waved Albatross
    They mate for life and reunited every year in the Galapagos. If one doesn't show up they will simply sit on the shore waiting forever. I almost cried watching them find each other again. If true love exists, this is it. Unfortunately it lacks the grand romantic gesture that I'm looking for
  4. Long-tailed Manakin
    The males spend around ten years perfecting a synchronized dance with an apprentice bird. Really well choreographed, but just not for me
  5. Peacock Jumping spider
    I appreciate that he traced the female down through the treacherous forest and prepared a colorful dance display, but I don't blame the female for mating with him and then killing him anyway directly after. There's no changing that he's a creepy mofo
  6. Green Turtle
    There is some brief romantic circling on the water's surface, but after that it ends up a clusterfuck as all the males try to win her and she almost drowns. I get what they are going for here, but I'd appreciate if my life was held as the highest priority
  7. Fur Seal
    Males just tear each other to shreds for the right to mate with all the females. Very little romance here