DAD THINGS MY DAD DOES

  1. Says that his favorite vegetables are rice and potatoes
  2. "Washes" his hockey equipment by letting it float in the pool overnight
  3. When he feels like changing the subject he says "speaking of (insert topic here)" even though no one was speaking of that
  4. Doesn't know how the dishwasher works
  5. Doesn't like movies because "he likes having the freedom to change the channel"
  6. Farts at the dinner table and blames it on my sister
  7. Stays up all night watching episodes of "The Big Bang Theory" and "Two and a Half Men" on his iPad
  8. Falls asleep on the couch watching Grateful Dead concert tapes
  9. Signs all his emails to me "Thanks, Richard"
  10. Texts me minute long videos of the backyard after it snows
  11. When I asked him if babies drink water he said he was unsure (even though he has had four children)
  12. Drinks caffeinated coffee at night
  13. Fed me an Oreo when I was a baby and my mom wasn't looking even though I had not yet started eating solid foods
  14. Acts like its a cool party trick when he usues voice sync in the car
  15. Powerwashes everything
  16. Falls asleep everywhere with his arms crossed and his head tilted back
  17. Dislikes ethnic food
  18. Prefers the Sirius Radio station "Deep Tracks"
  19. Says "LGBT-LMNOP"
  20. Orders cheeseburgers with lettuce and tomato on the side and pretends like it's a side salad