STUPID THINGS I DID LAST NIGHT

Pretty Savage
  1. Shattered my phone in the Liquor Land parking lot after buying gin for someone older than I am
  2. Carried my phone around in a sock all night because "I didn't want to hurt it anymore"
  3. Carried gin and tonic water in the pouch of my raincoat with a sock over it (for camouflage prupsoses) across campus
  4. Started drinking gin and tonics at 6:00 pm
  5. Cried at Senior Apartments, but concealed it by telling people that I was "just on drugs"
  6. Composed this acrostic poem
  7. Lost my ID
  8. Cracked shotguns with my bare hands, bruising my thumbs in the process
  9. Encouraged my friend to assert her dominance over the freshman by telling them she lost her virginity at 10 years old
  10. Potentially broke my ankle
  11. Went up to a boy I have a crush on and said "Do you want to start a fight?"