THINGS PEOPLE OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT MY FIRST JOB

I was supposed to wait tables at a restaurant in a hotel but I showed up on the first day and they told me I was going to manage the front desk as a 17 year old. The rest is history
  1. On the first day they made me eat my lunch in the dark, windowless coat closet just to fuck with me
  2. On my first day one of the waitresses was reprimanded (not fired) for doing lines of cocaine in the kitchen
  3. Everything in the business was done without computers (room reservations, time cards, archives, credit card info, etc.) because the owner could not type and therefore refused to buy a computer for his business
  4. More than half the staff turned over during the 3 months I worked there
  5. The owner who was about 70 years old was married to his third wife who was in her 30s and together they had a 2 year old foster child who had one eye
    This was the biological child of one of the waitress who was eventually fired
  6. They would sometimes decide that part of my job was to babysit this 2 year old. Other times they would allow him to roam freely around the dining room and kitchen
    Believe me, if I were good enough with kids to babysit all summer I would not have been working this min wage job
  7. For no particular reason my boss would not let me say "not a problem!" to the customers
  8. Although I was technically not allowed to be behind the bar, the owner would request multiple times a day that I make him blueberry lemonade vodkas
  9. The chef threw a raw hamburger at the owner's wife's face during a rambunctious argument and she called the cops during peak dinner hours.
    He called her a psychotic c*** in front of all the coustomers and the cops while he stormed out. There was apparently no infringement on the law.
  10. My boss would sometimes spend the night in the empty hotel rooms and not tell me or housekeeping. Unfortunately I would then send people to check into their rooms and they would find it filled with an unmade bed and the personal effects of my boss.