MY FIRST CAR ACCIDENT (A REMINDER THAT LIFE IS NOT A ROMANTIC COMEDY)

  1. Last summer I was driving in bumper to bumper traffic on I-95 on an extremely hot day
  2. I had my windows up and AC off to reduce drag and gas consumption because I was a bit low on gas and I didn't know when I'd be able to get off the highway.
    Not the greatest logic, I'll admit
  3. Perhaps it was the heat, or maybe I was just mindnumbingly bored, but after about an hour of moving at a snails pace, I spaced out for a couple seconds and accidentally tapped the guy's bumper in front of me.
  4. Naturally I started freaking out because I was by myself, a teenager in a sketchy area and I was not sure what to do. So I pulled over to the side of the road to talk to the guy
  5. Because it was so hot in my car I was drenched in sweat from head to toe. I had sweat straight through a grey Tshirt that fell to about mid thigh, a baseball cap, and leggings
  6. The man who got out of the car was probably about 6'5" and big. I'd put him around his mid 40s. As a 19 year old girl who is 5'4" on a good day, it was an intimidating situation.
  7. Had he been angry, he would have been absolutely terrifying. Fortunately he was nice about it (his car has virtually no damage). Anyway, I apologized profusely and kept repeating that I needed to call my dad
    There is no mistaking that I am a teenager, in fact I'm regularly mistaken for being as young as 14
  8. I gave the guy my phone number and drove the next hour home, practicing how I to tell my dad that I had dented my bumper.
  9. When I finally got home I saw I had a text from the guy that said "hey sorry I'm the guy you rear ended I didn't catch your name"
  10. Thinking he wanted to talk logistics, I told him my name is Ellie and thank you for being so nice about the whole situation
  11. He replied "no problem. I won't report you, one condition though. You have to let me take you out on a date"
  12. WHAT THIS IS NOT A ROMANTIC COMEDY
  13. PSA: It's not romantic to blackmail a teenager into going on a date with you, a dude in his forties. You are more than twice my age. I am not Katherine Heigl and you are not James Marsden
  14. This isn't romantic. This isn't comical. This is just me crying because now I have to pay to fix my car.
  15. I evaded the offer and told him that I lived really really far away. A few more date offers continued, which were largely ignored.
  16. Two weeks later he texted me a few times "hey Ellie how's it going?" No. Need I remind you that this is STILL not a romantic comedy?