all following are absolutely true because i lift weights a lot and often.
  1. toe shoes
    youve probably bought items from skymall on multiple occasions.
  2. ugly knit bill cosby sweater
    youre probably in a frat and you think this sweater is unique and #thrifty but really your dad bod got a little too dad bod over the past few weekends.
  3. (protein shake gulp)
  4. headphones, full cans - usually beats
    total around-the-ear design helps amplify existing echo chamber present in your head.
  5. flip flops
    you probably have never been to a gym and thought you should make the most of your Northwestern experience before you graduated.
  6. spandex but not a lot of it
    we get it, youre hot. but if youre doing a lot of crossfitty sorta stuff youre also the scariest person currently in the gym.
  7. (another gulp, holy shit i drink so much protein because i just lifted so many weights)
  8. jeans
    international student
  9. workout gloves
    youre either a masseuse or a pussy, but probably a pussy.
  10. tube socks, coworking event tshirt, old white guy