Six Things Flyer Than My Cardigan

Keep in mind: it's a really fly cardigan.
  1. 1.
    Tilda Swinton
    She's so talented. Like go watch MICHAEL CLAYTON (2007) or I AM LOVE (2010) or even ORLANDO (1992). And she's also probably ageless. Way flyer than my cardigan.
  2. 2.
    Buffalo Macaroni and Cheese
    The warmth of childhood with the spicy kick of adulthood. My cardigan is pretty fly, but it's nothing compared to buffalo mac and cheese.
  3. 3.
    Kudzu
    A plant that's practically a horror movie villain? Step aside, Audrey II. Neither you, nor my fly-ass cardigan, is flyer than the Horror Weed of the South.
  4. 4.
    Chuckling
    There's not a soul among us that doesn't enjoy a good chuckle. There are, however, souls that violently speak out against my cardigan.
  5. 5.
    Former President Jimmy Carter
    He's precious, and he recently beat cancer. During his time in office, he fended off a killer rabbit (look it up). My cardigan, however fly it may be, could do no such thing.
  6. 6.
    The Decaying Remains of the American Dream
    This should be pretty self-explanatory.