Six Things Flyer Than My Cardigan
Keep in mind: it's a really fly cardigan.
- •Tilda SwintonShe's so talented. Like go watch MICHAEL CLAYTON (2007) or I AM LOVE (2010) or even ORLANDO (1992). And she's also probably ageless. Way flyer than my cardigan.
- •Buffalo Macaroni and CheeseThe warmth of childhood with the spicy kick of adulthood. My cardigan is pretty fly, but it's nothing compared to buffalo mac and cheese.
- •KudzuA plant that's practically a horror movie villain? Step aside, Audrey II. Neither you, nor my fly-ass cardigan, is flyer than the Horror Weed of the South.
- •ChucklingThere's not a soul among us that doesn't enjoy a good chuckle. There are, however, souls that violently speak out against my cardigan.
- •Former President Jimmy CarterHe's precious, and he recently beat cancer. During his time in office, he fended off a killer rabbit (look it up). My cardigan, however fly it may be, could do no such thing.
- •The Decaying Remains of the American DreamThis should be pretty self-explanatory.