Things I Wanted to Be for Halloween but Couldn't Because They Were Too Obscure or Dumb or Whatever
I always have a bunch of bitchin ideas for Halloween (at least, I think so) but whenever I share them with friends they say they don't know what it is or nobody would get it. Here are a few rejected ideas from this year!
- •Powerline, from A Goofy MovieThis one would be super fun, and pretty easy if I could find a yellow jumpsuit. Plus the songs are catchy as hell and I basically know them by heart. But reasons I heard why I shouldn't try this one ranged from "who?" to "it's too old, nobody would remember it" to "that's basically being a furry". OH WELL.
- •The Squid, from Rocket PowerAnother one shot down because it's based too heavily in nostalgia. This one would work though, I think, because one year I did the Silver Snakes from Legends of the Hidden Temple and a couple people thought I was "that kid from Rocket Power." So it's got slightly higher than zero recognition! But this would be better as a couples costume with Reggie Rocket anyway, so I guess it's NOPE after all.
- •Some store-bought bullshit like "vampire"Come on. I'm better than that. TRY AGAIN.
- •Ian Malcom from Jurassic Park (the first one, duh, not the new one)Despite Goldblum's incredible performance, he didn't wear anything super obvious. Probably not recognizable enough as a costume, even though Malcolm was my favorite character from a beloved franchise that was rebooted with absurd success this year. In this case, life didn't find a way. WELL DAMN.
- •Chris Pratt's character from the new Jurassic World movie, who the hell remembers or cares who the character was named. Not important.Probably everyone will default to this one, this year, because of how popular that movie is. But even if it wasn't going to be super overdone, I just don't have the patience or willpower to get that ripped for a costume. HARD PASS.
- •"Sexy" inanimate object like potato or somethingThis is a fantastic idea, I don't care what anyone says. And I still might do it some year. But I need to spend more time figuring out what the hell it would consist of. MAYBE LATER.