HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE: THE DARK AGES EDITION
- •When visiting friends, don't assume they are going to throw your fecal waste out of the window and onto the streets below. Be a considerate guest and fling your own feces out of the window.
- •Once you have deflowered your young bride, quickly hang the blood stain'd sheet from a high place in the province to satiate the moral fury of the villagers and spare the honor and life of your betrothed.
- •Never tell a lord that his family crest is "gay as shit."
- •Grease your chain mail suit before walking about town. Nothing says "bitch" like a squeaky suit.
- •Dabble in leisure hobbies like fox hunting or piccolo.
- •If infected by the Black Plague, retreat into the forest with your thoughts and sores and die like a gentle man.