APPROVED EPITAPHS IF I DIE TOMORROW

  1. 1.
    The List App beta user.
  2. 2.
    @dad murdered @Mom. He fake-framed himself to appear innocent.
  3. 3.
    B.J. Novak is Jeremy Pivot. Think about it.
  4. 4.
    Please make sure @sloan gets the andirons in the shed.
  5. 5.
    Darth Vader is not actually Luke's Father.
  6. 6.
    Don't forget to stream the Dead & Company show this Saturday featuring John Mayer.
  7. 7.
    My password to everything is P@55w0rD
  8. 8.
    Please see my list of approved epitaphs.