BRAINSTORM⛈WAYS TO SPRING DAD FROM THE SLAMMER

In case you've missed it @dad is in some deep shit.
  1. Send him a Stanley hack saw in a 50th birthday cake. 🎂
  2. Mail him a pair of Lee relaxed fit blue jeans with the prison blueprints printed on the inside. 👖
  3. AOL him a list of the top ten books on prison escapes. 📕
  4. Send dad his collection of late 90s/early 2000s hawaiian shirts so he can tie them into an escape rope. 👕
  5. Ask Morgan Freeman to narrate an escape that is an hour and a half or less so dad gets out before he falls asleep on the couch. 💤
  6. Recruit the Kansas City Chiefs to play a yard game against the prisoners and sneak dad out on the team bus. 🚌
  7. Fly @dev's drone over the prison walls to create a diversion by triggering the nerd alarm. 🚨
  8. Prescribe dad a new blood pressure medication that is highly explosive. 💊
  9. Tell dad to take a crap and by the time he wipes, nature will have eroded the prison to ruins. 🚽
  10. Train dad's dog to dig a tunnel into his cell at 5am to wake him up for a "walk". 🐶
  11. Have dad fake a heart attack at the same moment listappers arrive in an ambulance. 🚑
  12. Tattoo the entire prison blueprints (in code) onto your body then get arrested and sent to the same prison. Make a daring escape together and go on the run!
    Suggested by   @eatthelove
  13. Teach @dad how to transfigure into a dog so he can sneak past the guards and out of the prison. Works for most people who were framed for murder.
    Suggested by   @kstevs_