DIY SHAMPOO RECIPE (BACHELOR FORMULA)

  1. Coke
    Mix one can of Coca-Cola for every tablespoon of cocaine. This will be your "active" ingredient.
  2. Flour
    The gluten strengthens your hair and helps rid your stomach of foul fried food flora by luring the little beasts out of your hair follicles where the acid in the Coke will kill them instantly.
  3. Skippy Super Chunk
    The peanut chunks exfoliate your scalp, while the roasted legume paste conditions your brain to grow up and start eating real food.
  4. Multivitamins your mom sent because she thought you were looking unhealthy
    Might as well, you're not taking them anyway.
  5. Grass
    Rip some grass out of the yard. The beta carotene will promote new skin cell growth. Add marijuana to take your showering experience to the next level. Use Sativa for a Zest commercial, or Indica for an Ivory Soap spot.
  6. Gasoline
    The gas and grass combine to create a powerful fragrance that reminds females of their hard working fathers mowing the lawn, and thus making you irresistible.
  7. Condition with IPA for volume or lager for a more natural look.