1. Its in the shop
    Doesn't own a bike hence its still "in the shop".
  2. I prefer walking/driving/public transport
    Bullshit. Obvious lies.
  3. Inclement weather
    Hmmm, somehow their house was singled out for six inches of snow, while the rest of the city got a light dandruff.
  4. I just finished the Tour De France yesterday
    Oh, boohoo. That's no excuse.
  5. I don't have a job
  6. I only ride freestyle BMX
  7. I had to return some overdue VHS tapes to Blockbuster headquarters because they closed the local store, so I took my private jet to cut down on travel time.
  8. My dick and balls are too large to ride comfortably.
  9. I never learned how, and am afraid people will make fun of my training wheels.
  10. I was trying to, but I got hit by a person driving a car and typing lists at the same time.
  11. My tandem stoker got deported.
  12. It is 115 degrees outside
    Suggested by @gwcoffey
  13. You prefer to take your flying hovercraft
    9a17e383 a039 4768 975f e9aa4510e097
    Suggested by @NickZ
  14. You try riding a bike when your 7 months pregnant, ok??!
    Suggested by @krissy