GOOD STOCKS TO BUY AFTER HAVING A FEW BEERS ON A FRIDAY

  1. TSLA
    Tesla stock is a steal right now. Elon Musk will work every engineer to the bone until he has the whole planet in self driving cars. Insider tip: Watch out for a deal with Google's Alphabet. They might as well call it Elon's trust fund.
  2. BREW
    The Craft Beer Alliance buys craft breweries once they get too big for their britches. Any brewery worth their salt would rather sell to them than the evil Anheuser-Busch. This stock will be drinkable in a year, but I would let it age longer.
  3. ATT
    Abattis Bioceuticals is in a position to supply all the new marijuana farms with everything they need. The more saturated the market gets, the more money they make. Roll this one into your portfolio before it gets too high.
  4. TLA 📈
    The List App is a new social media thingy that your parents won't understand. Buy as much as you can the second they go public. 1. They 2. Will 3. Make 4. You 5. Rich