REASONS THE LIST APP HASN'T BEEN FEATURED IN THE APP STORE

  1. 1.
    No in-app purchases
  2. 2.
    They can't figure out which category it fits under
  3. 3.
    May contain evidence regarding the disappearance of @Mom
  4. 4.
    They mistook the icon for google docs
  5. 5.
    @JeremyPivot hasn't made it so
  6. 6.
    The Woz hasn't downloaded it yet
  7. 7.
    No Apple Watch integration
  8. 8.
    Because you haven't written a witty review yet
  9. 9.
    They fear the world will never be the same
  10. 10.
    Their trending algorithm has got no rhythm
    "Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool."
  11. 11.
    Because it doesn't exist and I am hallucinating the whole thing
  12. 12.
    Whoever is in charge is a user and wants to cherish the honeymoon period
  13. 13.
    @dev forgot the password for his Apple ID
  14. 14.
    It got lost in the cloud, and is somewhere over Mongolia
  15. 15.
    Too many great apps coming out right now (yeah, right.)
  16. 16.
    40,000 people are wrong
  17. 17.
    Thanks...