1. A contest to see who gets to go to Mars.
  2. A Super PAC funded campaign to distract us from volunteering for Bernie Sanders.
  3. The last place on the internet that people still give a shit about grammar.
  4. A figment of our imagination; stage one of an undiagnosed condition called Schizomedia.
  5. A human thought generator used to program Artificial Intelligence.
  6. A mediocre dating app for Jewish Americans.
  7. A platform for propelling avocado toast to every cafe menu on the planet.
  8. A place to hide secrets.
  9. The latest technology in OCD therapy.