WITNESS TO A SALAD BAR FIGHT

  1. Woman: don't put that spoon back in the cheese after you used it for olives.
  2. Man: I didn't use it for olives.
  3. Woman: I saw you, and you licked your finger before touching it.
  4. Man: you're crazy
  5. Woman: you did it and you got caught. CAN WE PLEASE GET A NEW SPOON FOR THE CHEESE? THIS MAN CONTANIMATED IT.
  6. Me: started laughing out loud (I couldn't help it, and at this point I thought they were coworkers joking around)
  7. Man: the spoon is fine, but you are acting crazy.
  8. Woman: I ain't touching your olive spit spoon.
  9. Man: you're a crazy bitch.
  10. Me: I got the hell out of there.
  11. Woman: sets contaminated cheese spoon down at the register next to my salad.
  12. Clerk: looks at me and rolls eyes.