If I Wrote a Memoir, It Would Be Called:

  1. "I Need More Coffee: Tales of Over-Exhaustion"
  2. "What? I can't hear you!"
  3. "'Can You Hand Me My Chapstick?' How the Good Things in Life are Just Barely Out of Reach"
  4. "Why Do You Hate Me?"
  5. "The Introvert's Guide to Being More Introverted"