My Favorite Texts From Last Night From My Area Code
tfln is one of my favorite things ever
- •"What do you mean I can't make cookies with a blow dryer? Challenge accepted."I'm in suspense as to whether they were successful
- •"Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. It happens."I'm happy to say this has never happened to me, but I can't say this is worse than other things I've done after drinking.
- •"Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed."Poor guy. Hopefully he's funny.
- •"If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style"Literally something I would say!
- •"Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at."Also something I would say. And reason #872 why I don't want children.
- •"I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3 am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you"Wake me up for any reason between 3 am and 7 am and you'll probs get a punch to the throat, in addition to very mean words.
- •"I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science."Best science experiment EVER. And something 19 year old me would do.
- •"So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?"What a beautiful day for this person.
- •"I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why I cold my spend the night. As I was walking away, he opened the door... I fell down and played dead, definitely didn't see me."LMFAO legit dying every time I read this!
- •"There's a Disney princes moon bounce on Karen St. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. This might end with me in jail."I see no problem with any of this...