SUPER-SAD FAILED CRAFT PROJECTS

Because being an enthusiastic "idea person" is different from having talent or competence.
  1. Half of one slipper
    My husband's grandmother knitted slippers for the whole family, and it was so cozy to receive a pair of my own. I vowed to be that grandmother one day. ...I will never be that grandmother.
  2. Sampler quilt
    I took a quilting class once. I bought a lovely and expensive sewing machine, several quilting feet, some fabric and thread, and I followed the directions given in class. We didn't have time to finish the whole thing, but we were told to just follow the directions on the handout. NOPE.
  3. DIY tarot cards
    I glued a bunch of pretty pictures to some card stock and spent WEEKS carefully assigning them to specific tarot cards. "These blotches could be, um, cups! Three of cups!"
  4. Afghan
    My sister brought me some thick, twisted yarn from Morocco. I decided to learn to crochet. Thick, twisted yarn is heavy and cumbersome and SUPER CRAPPY to use when making a blanket.
  5. Sunbutter brownies
    I'm allergic to nuts. My son is allergic to soy. We still wanted brownies. Enter sunbutter! Alas, some chemical thing involving baking powder and chlorophyll yielded brownies made of pure evil grossness. They tasted fine. Yeah, I ate them. Shut up.
  6. Back to Work gift
    It was a nice thought that came way too late. At the last minute I threw together some tea bags and some candy from the communal candy jar. I stole a paperclip container from a vacant cubicle and "wrapped" the gift in elastics.
  7. Adult colouring page
    This is an APP. It's the lazy version of adult colouring!! All you have to do is tap! But no, this was still too taxing for me.