5 photos on my phone, chosen at random and captioned accordingly.

My first list went a little like this
  1. What chalky jawbreakers and a complete disregard for under-eye makeup will do to you.
  2. When all the cake pans in your house are penis shaped, you improvise. Farm animals include: seal, lion, rhino and horse. Of course.
  3. Being unprepared for a bright flash shows the real you. Always.
  4. Always..
  5. Oh that? It's a UFO car. Yeah, I know...it's amazing. The truth is out there...on 4 wheels.