An ode to the morning routine I wrote down in my diary in elementary school. Thank you @dana for reminding me about how I wrote everything down to the minute. Also, I usually shower the night before to save time in the morning. I HAVE GOOD HYGIENE PEOPLE!
  1. 6:15 - alarm #1 goes off.
  2. 6:15:20 - I hit the snooze button on alarm #1.
  3. 6:24 - alarm #1 goes off again. I hit snooze immediately.
  4. 6:30 - alarm #2 goes off. I think to myself, "Fuck I have to wake up within the next 15 minutes". I hit snooze.
  5. 6:33 - alarm #1 goes off again. I think to myself, "having two alarms is so dumb". Then I continue to think, "Fuck, what do I wear to work today? Dressing business is so hard to make cute when you have two plain sweaters and maybe 3-4 blouses".
  6. 6:39 - alarm #2 goes off again. I hit snooze. I know I have to be up in the next six minutes if I want extra time to plan out my outfit.
  7. 6:45 - I roll on my sides and crack my back, my fingers, I crack my palms (?) and I eventually get out of bed.
  8. 6:45:50 - I make it to the bathroom where I pee and I brush my teeth. My eyes are still only half open at this point.
  9. 6:50 - I go back to my room. Look at my phone and check the weather for today. If it's above 75 I opt for a dress or skirt. Otherwise, pant suit it is.
  10. 6:56 - I can't find anything to wear that I haven't already recently wore to work. I start to scramble because I know I have 20 minutes until I have to leave the house.
  11. 6:58 - Does my one black blazer go with this top? Um I look 60. No. Okay, cardigan it is.
  12. 7:02 - I go back to the bathroom to do my makeup. Moisturizer, tint, eyebrows, and eyeliner.
  13. 7:07 - Grab my bag, remember deodorant and run downstairs to make iced coffee from my mom's leftover pot from the day before. Coffee, half n half, coconut sugar, ice and shake my Klean Kanteen to mix.
  14. 7:12 - Make sure I have what I need today. Make sure I have Chapstick and a hair tie. Chapstick is a must.
  15. 7:15 - LEAVE THE HOUSE and drive to work barefoot. My shoes for work are in the car. Cue the throwback hip hop station (102.1 in the Bay) and head for 101.