Seriously-you can't make this shit up.
  1. Brawny husband to petite wife (in disgruntled voice): Why did you bring your pink purse? Now I have to walk around holding it while you're in surgery! I'm not comfortable with a pink purse!"
  2. Father to adult daughter: "I'm a lifetime democrat but Hillary is such a liar- I'm going to have to go with Trump."
  3. Middle-aged woman on phone: "When we walked into the house (of her brother-in-law) we saw fecal matter smeared on the walls. I think it was done by his (deceased) mother. She is mad because he hasn't buried her remains."