Potential Reasons I Got Ghosted

  1. β€’
    I bought the documentary he made on Amazon Prime and told him it made me cry.
    It was good.
  2. β€’
    I didn't like the fact he had another girlfriend.
    She lived in LA.
  3. β€’
    I wore loose, high-waisted jeansβ€”turns out they give you FUPA.
    FUPA: cringe/lol/cry acronym since learning it in 2000 at Camp Pinecliffe.
  4. β€’
    I told him I was depressed.
  5. β€’
    I told him I was happy.
  6. β€’
    I said 'American Beauty' was one of my favorite movies.
  7. β€’
    I suggested we play tennis sometime, like next Tuesday.
  8. β€’
    I talked too much about the Holocaust.
  9. β€’
    I didn't have a manicure.
    (Probably not the reason.)
  10. β€’
    I had kale in my teeth.
  11. β€’
    I ordered lobster.
  12. β€’
    I smoked a cigarette.
  13. β€’
    I came too early.
  14. β€’
    I didn't come.
  15. β€’
    I dressed for other women, not him.
  16. β€’
    I revealed ambivalence about and mocked my career.
  17. β€’
    I ate corn.
  18. β€’
    I forgot to shave my armpits.
  19. β€’
    I didn't look like my pictures.
  20. β€’
    I said he'd love my brother.
  21. β€’
    I said he'd love my dad.
  22. β€’
    I was 25 minutes late.
  23. β€’
    I went on an extended rant about our society's whitewashing of pregnancy and childbirth.
    Might have mentioned adult diapers after giving birth.
  24. β€’
    I let it show I liked him.