Benefits of going to bed at 9 pm

call me an old lady idgaf
  1. You get to sleep longer
  2. You wake up at 6 am
  3. You have less hours in the day to embarrass yourself
  4. You can brag about it
    Editors note: don't do this
  5. You avoid the temptation of 2 am "you up" texts
  6. You have more dreams since you're asleep longer
  7. You establish a reputation of going to bed early and have an excuse for not returning texts
  8. You sleep for longer and there's a better chance you won't be awake when North Korea nukes Los Angeles
  9. You eliminate the risk of late night binge eating marshmallows
  10. You smell better