THINGS MY DAD HAS DONE IN OUR SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD
- •Shoot the mole in our backyard with a shotgun
- •Stand outside with a soccer ball to kick at "cars going too fast"
- •Place a fertility God statue in the garden to ward off squirrels
- •Paint our front door green and yellow for the Oregon Ducks
- •Cover said front door with a black shroud when the ducks lose
- •Drive a 1965 Chevy Impala
- •Make a "ridin dirty" music video with my 13 year old sister in aforementioned Impala