1. Don't speak except to say "excuse me" or "thank you" especially not to me.
  2. Don't move too much
  3. Don't smell to strongly of anything— including but not limited to perfume, alcohol, cigarettes, pee.
  4. None of your bodily fluids should leave your body during the commute. If you sneeze or cough and are over the age of 18 months, you should cover your mouth.
  5. If you are listening to music, use headphones. Only you should be able to hear your music.
  6. Turn your sound off if you are texting with someone.
  7. Don't just stand in front of the door or an empty seat during rush hour. Move so people can enter/exit and sit
  8. If you are a Cubs fan or a teenager just accept that you are the worst.