Reasons Not to Take My Own Life
This is not a veiled cry for help. Please do not call the authorities.
- •I can't afford rat poison.
- •I'm too impatient to wait 10 days to buy a gun.
- •No one would give a shit.
- •I would be accused of hacking Robin Williams.
- •Someone would find my porn collection.
- •Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens opens in December.
- •Oral sex!!
- •Anal sex!!!
- •I have a really great life.