My kids are 9 and 12; these ships of evil have sailed.
  1. Barney
  2. Teletubbies
  3. Trains (I tried. My kids don't dig vehicles.)
  4. Which also means: Thomas.
  5. Baby food in squeeze pouches. If that had existed, that would still be a main form of subsistence. And my kids have a combined age of 21.
  6. An actual high hair. (We used a clip on thing and mandated kneeling on a bench early to build knee stamina and character.)
  7. Swingset in my backyard. I have a firepit instead. Win.