GOOD FOR YOU, NOT FOR ME
Trust me, I'm happy for you. I just won't be joining you
- •"I don't eat fast food"Genuinely I'm happy that you are so committed to being healthy that you can't indulge every once and a while, but I will never be that person and if you are condescending about it I'll cut a bitch.
- •"I don't wear sweats out of the house"Wow you are probably super stylish and put together, but something is seriously wrong if I show up to my 5:30 shift at the animal shelter in something other that leggings and a sweatshirt.
- •"I'm addicted to working out"This one usually frightens me. As long as you are healthy though that is probably the best addiction I've ever heard of. Have fun on your jog, I will be sleeping
- •"I just feel so gross if I don't shower once a day"Oops, I will actually go on record saying that over this past summer I went 6 days without putting soap on my body. I was swimming in lakes and oceans so it wasn't totally disgusting., but missing a shower once and a while doesn't usually leave me ridden with guilt. Also washing your hair everyday is bad, google it.
- •"I'm a vegan"I respect you and everything you do. I actually considered becoming vegan once but then I thought about all the amazing home cooked meals I would be missing out on. It's just not for me and that's ok.
- •"I don't swim in the ocean"Ok sorry but that's not cool and I can't defend these people