6 WAYS I BEHAVED MYSELF AT LAST NIGHTS OPEN BAR

  1. Stared long and hard at the nacho platter but didn't eat the whole thing
  2. Talked to only three people about the jalapeño ratio on the nacho platter
  3. Diverted the conversation to best nachos in nyc after the (white) guy I was talking to told me he gets "nervous in Bed Stuy"
  4. Didn't take the nachos home with me in a doggie bag
  5. Didn't order nachos from Seameless because I fell asleep on my couch with the app open on my phone.
  6. Shit. Did I do coke off of the toilet paper dispenser? Whatever. I didn't eat all of the nachos.